Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
we should paint friendship bongs
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