im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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