He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
