I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
