BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
