Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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