Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
