this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
