Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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