Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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