hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
