i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
