I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
