He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
