my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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