he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
