She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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