He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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