I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
