sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Come see our sink grown plant.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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