there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
