Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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