After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
