I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
