So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
