Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
