I wish I could punch you in the face.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
