Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
