Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
