Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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