Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
