Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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