girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
