That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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