I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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