I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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