My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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