I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
