You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
