Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
