You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Houston, we have a blender
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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