Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
