Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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