just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
