That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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