It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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