I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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