; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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