he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
