they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I am available for nakedness
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
