Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
