I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
