Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
