So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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